Don’t Drift To Far Away From Your Sweetheart

Lunch On The BeachAs you go through life, there are danger signs everywhere: red lights and stop signs, speed bumps and blinking lights, and circles. But when it comes to a relationship, visible warning signs are few and far between. Sometimes the greatest perils come tiptoeing in sight unseen, and one the most lethal of these sneaky assassins of arbor is boredom.

Before it drains the power out of your love, sweep that gray fog of boredom aside by adding energy. In the same way the warm rays of the sun dissipate a real fog, energy can pierce the grayness of your love. All you have to is: talk, run, jump, ski, walk, go. It doesn’t matter where or how. All that matters is the you do something. The more you do, the further away you’ll push boredom, and the stronger you love will be.

Beware too, that sometimes boredom wears a disguise. It’s call routine. Routines are necessary in life, especially when there’s so much to do., but they have a serous side effect, which is boredom. The key to using routines wisely is to break from them regularly. If you always eat dinner at six , then one night a week, eat at five or go to dinner and a movie. Every once in a while, use your fingers instead of a fork.

If that thought creeps into your head to throw a grape at your sweetheart, then do it! If you pass your hubby washing his hands at the sink, put an ice-cube down his shirt. Sleep on the other side of the bed once in a while. Slip a homeless person a $10 bill. Wear something unexpected to bed. Drive home the long way. It doesn’t matter what it is that you do that’s different . It only matters that you do different things regularly.

Do You Really Need to Fire Your Verbal Machine Gun?

Be RealBefore you fire your verbal machine gun it’s important to investigate the maturity of your emotional output. Just because you feel like saying something doesn’t mean it has to be said in the way or at exactly the moment you feel like saying it. Remember, your relationship is a precious thing that deserves to be preserved. Look for a more appropriate time and way to express your feelings so that your relationship will be enhanced rather than eroded or destroyed.

When you fight leave the kitchen sink in the kitchen. What I mean by this is don’t just throw things into the argument that don’t have anything to do with the issues at hand. Why bring up something that happened ten months ago that just adds confusion and  is not the right way to treat someone or anyone.

So no matter what you’re so furious about, try to resist the temptation to let it all hang out or to let the devil take the hindmost. It’s important to stop and think before you let the other person have it. Ask yourself two questions.

Do I really need to say this? That is, does this horrible, angry, vituperative, or character-blasting thing really need to be said? Will it improve the immediate situation? Is there anything useful to be gained by saying mean words? For example, saying to your sweetheart that you not only think your sex life is awful now, but it has been for the past five years? Will this or similar remarks speed up the person’s evolution, or your own, or is saying it just the indulgence of revved up emotions that want to released?

Ask yourself this question. Do I really need to say this now? The diatribe you want to indulge in may include some very valuable points that really do need to be expressed. But is this the time to make them? Will you set off a furor or engender a useful response? Remember you are not a trash can and if you are in a relationship with someone who says horrible, angry, vituperative character blasting things at you or about you . You might consider getting counseling to find out why you are allowing someone to treat that way because God didn’t create you to be treated badly by anyone.

 

Acknowledge The Little Things

I Heart YouYou’ve been taught to say “thank you” for presents, but do you acknowledge the little presents your sweetheart gives you every day? You can never say thank you enough or be thanked enough. Grand gestures are fun and they can make your heart soar. But if they only happen once or twice a year what’s the fun in that? Little gestures are not as splashy and they might even go unnoticed. Sometimes it seems like if it wasn’t for the raindrops the oceans would soon be empty and doing small acts of kindness for the one you love or receiving kindness from them can be like raindrops that keep your reservoir of love flowing.

When people lose their sweetheart whom they’ve loved dearly, it’s not the grand gestures that they miss. It’s the little things. It’s the nightly kiss goodnight. It’s the vase with just one flower in it that they gave you just because, its hold hands at the movies. It’s the hugs and that sparkly in their eyes that says  I’m glad you’re here. The little things are like the nails that hold a house together . You don’t see them, but they’re doing their work. And like nails, the little things don’t insert themselves without some help. Each one may not take a lot of energy, but if you put just enough energy into the little things, over time you’ll build a great big love.

Everybody wants to hear how much, and precisely why, he or she is loved. Even when they’ve been chosen, even when they’ve tied the knot, they still need the verbal reassurance that they are loved. Everyone needs to be endured, to feel that they are special, delightful, delicious, precious, irreplaceable, to the one they love. They want to be singled out, to be told we are loved above all by the person who has chosen us. You shouldn’t settle for less. Make no mistake having feelings about someone isn’t as good as sharing those feelings with them. Make no mistake words mean a lot to all of us. We all walk around with a huge collection of insecurities, and none of us is so sure, so cut and dry in our conviction about our own self-worth that we don’t need the inspiration of being told every which way, over and over again, exactly why, how and how much we are loved. We need to be told, and the words need to be heart-felt. You’re not a trash can and you were created to be loved in all the right ways not in ways that cause you pain.

 

You Deserve To Bathe In Loves Glow

love (2)Love is complex all by itself and it’s not an emotion that can readily be understood. You can’t take it apart to analyze it and it doesn’t become any clearer when seen through a microscope.  Many men enjoy complexity and life is like a giant puzzle they’re itching to solve, and the more pieces, the better. That’s fine if they are building something in their workshops, tinkering with their cars, or driving to some unknown destination, but is doesn’t always work so well when assembling love.

Just because love exists doesn’t mean that it can be understood. So accept love’s simplicity and appreciate it without an examination. Accept it as it is. Accept each other and your singular. Think of it this way love is like a coat of many colors. You put it on and bathe in its glow. You don’t have to understand anything. You don’t have to see how the pieces fit they just do for the two of you. Remember you’re not a car to just be tinkered with or driven to some unknown destination . . .  you deserve to experience the simplicity of love and bathe in loves glow.

In A Time Of Crisis Can You Rely On Your Sweetheart?

FreeSadly, you may be in a crisis or maybe more than one. You may be feeling that no matter how blue the skies are today, it’s going to rain on your parade at some point. When that happens you should be able to use your sweethearts shoulder to cry on but sometimes for one reason or another they let you down. If the crisis thunders by quickly, the relationship will surely hold, but if it lingers it could  pull you further and further apart until the relationship breaks. And in a hurricane of events, even the most solid of duos may find themselves straining to hold their relationship together.

When you’re under stress, it’s easy to take your sweetheart for granted, but that may leave you blind-sided by a blow from somewhere that you least expect it. If your relationship has never been test by one of life’s more serious curves, don’t assume that you know how well your tires will stick to the road. In times of crisis, don’t leave having some private time to chance where you can be alone with your sweetie. Family and friends may want to crowd around to comfort you, but it’s very important that the two of you connect without being under the spotlight.

If your relationship seems like a firestorm no matter how terrified or tense or sad you are, push aside those emotions and focus on yourself. Dive deep down away from the flames and into what’s in your heart and hold on until you can take action and make the necessary changes. Sometimes it can be your sweetheart that is the crisis. If that’s the case you might have to take some alone time to sort out if the crisis is on going because of their choices and just let them go or figure out if it’s just a one time crisis. No matter what storms of life you are in remember you are not a trash can and you deserve to be loved and respected.

Put More Of Yourself In Every Shared Moment

Take My PictureLove is like a garden and unless you tend to it, you’ll never reap the full rewards that it brings. The ground needs to be tilled with kindness, because if is too hard, love’s seed can’t spout up. The seeds have to be planted with care if they are to penetrate your heart. Love needs to be watered with kind words and compliments. 

Love longs for your undivided attention just as the weeds of pettiness and lies must be pulled from the field of love. The fruits of love need time to grow and cannot be picked until they are ripe. If you don’t put the required effort into your garden of love, you can be certain that the weeds will invade and your garden will yield little in the way of love. But if you work at it, you’ll find a bumper crop of love waiting for you to harvest everyday.

When you’re in love, every day should be considered memorable: every good-morning kiss, every hug, every caress, every cuddle. They could be considered seeds that you plant in your garden of love. Your precious minutes spent together on earth are not so easily held onto. A walk down the aisle, that period of tropical bliss you call your honeymoon, your toddlers first steps, or a family vacation may stand out in your memories.

Even if you can’t remember every time you do something together it, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t act like you will. The two of you will experience  thousands of events together and they can’t all stick out in your mind, but you can learn to enjoy those moments more by putting more of yourself into each and every shared moment, they’ll mean so much more to you when they’re occurring. Stop kissing perfunctorily and put some passion into each kiss. Look your sweetheart in their eyes and mean it when you say “I love you.” At the end of the day, your memory banks may not be any fuller, but your love will be a lot stronger. You’re not a trash can you deserve someone who looks into your eyes everyday and says, “I love you” and treats you with respect and kindness.

 

 

Rediscover The Harmony In Your Life

A man should find himself before he finds a womanHarmony is the spiritual beauty of any intimate relationship and the elegant coexistence, peaceful compatibility, a similarity of frequency. It’s knowing that you share the same view of the world, that what you want out of life runs along parallel lines. It’s looking at your sweetheart and being able to say to yourself,”We stand for the same things, don’t we? “We may encounter some rough spots, but at heart we both share the same values.”

In relationships, harmony is a gift of the spirit. It is a mystic similarity of essence that allows you to operate both separately and together from knowing that between you there is a sacred resonance. In a sense, it’s the very reason you chose each other in the first place, if there weren’t a certain degree of harmony between you, you wouldn’t have thrown your lot in together and established a relationship. When there’s harmony you can feel it: it will add grace to all your undertakings, your work, the rearing of your children, the way you conduct the actions in your daily life, the way you handle conflict, and what you perceive to be the underlying deep direction of your life.

Unfortunately, life scratches and claws at the harmony of our relationships. Too many demands in to many forms can undermine the pleasant ground of any union’s harmoniousness. Conversely, harmony that is nurtured can be restored by being lovingly remembered. If the harmony in your relationship is lacking ask yourselves the following questions: After all the fuss and fray, when the kids are in bed, when the fight is over, is the stream of your life together most of the time so good, so flowing, that, in general, you can give thanks for his or her presence in you life? In what ways are the two of you at the core, a complement, a mirror, a balance for one another? What things still gives you pleasure together? What is the highest purpose of your relationship and what is your common undertaking? 

If you are having a hard time finding answers to these  questions, take a good look at what’s compromising the harmony in your relationship. Is it something you can change? is it circumstantial, you’re wife’s been working over time for a month, or is it an emotionally issue that needs to be dealt with? What is the one thing you can do or say that would be a first step towards restoring harmony? Once you take the first step towards harmony it will pursue you.