Tag Archives: moral code

Note to Self

Posted in Co-Dependency, Hope, Love, Self- Help by

Note to SelfOur life experiences, the life lessons we’ve  learned, and our unique gifts all combined, give us the opportunity to walk into the future with unlimited potential to grow into our own success. Success isn’t defined by a collection of assets, an accumulation of power or cash in the bank. If that were the formula, there would be no sorrow for those in the highest tax brackets. Rather, success is living out God’s purpose for your life . . . using the gifting He has given us.

We are designed to seek definition, to seek category, to seek order from chaos. Electrical impulses pour into our brains from each of our five senses ( sight, touch, taste, sound and smell). Our brains have a very sophisticated system . . . using the electrical input to form thoughts and act upon them accordingly  . . . to make order of this flood of incoming information.

As we navigate through life, it simply makes sense to us to group each other as we try to make sense of our differences and nuances. Imagine this: God is eternity and infinity. He gifted each of us with a unique piece of His thinking to achieve a unique purpose He designed us to fulfill. We are more than equipped to deal with life successfully. Remember you have value and you’re not a trash can . God doesn’t make trash!!!!

You Can Only Be You

Posted in Hope, Relationships, Self- Help by

I am womanLet’s be honest we all crave to be accepted and welcomed, sometimes we even compare our gifts to others’, attempting to measure if we belong ; but that’s like trying to reshape your fingerprint to match someone else’s . . . impossible.

If you try to adopt someone else’s roadmap as your own , you will limit where your gift can take you. You can only be you. Who you are at the core will leak out, no matter how much you suppress it. In God’s truth, the true you is meant to reach beyond you, but you can’t grow into the person God created you to be if you live in doubt and unrest. If you constantly undermine your gift by trying to copy other people.

In order to sustain a consistent outlook and pattern, your thoughts, your words, your spirit and your actions must line up. That means that you can begin today saying good  things about yourself that your brain doesn’t “believe” on a cellular level until it becomes a part of you on a cellular level.

Neurologically, you are not wired for someone else’s gift. You can try as hard as you want. You can listen to as many teaching as you possibly can. You can buy all the books with an instant formula for  a business mogul’s  success. You can adopt all the poplar motivational sayings. But even then, you will never have someone else’s gift. You can only be you and you’re not a trash can.

Life is a series of choices

Posted in Co-Dependency, Difficult Relationships, Hope, Love, Relationships, Self- Help by

Walking AwayLife is a series of choices and dependency is a reliance on something or someone else for support or existence. ” I must have this to live.” Dependency can be either negative or positive. Dependency can be an addition to any abject, behavior, or person that represents an underlying attempt to get our emotional needs met. ” I must do this to meet my needs, to make me happy, to make me feel significant. What have you become dependent on that may be causing you more pain than it’s worth? 

Everyone  is suffering from some form of addiction even additions that come under behaviors that are generally considered to be good, those that are wildly socially acceptable but may be equally harmful such as perfectionism, workaholic, care giving, extreme weight loss.

Or, maybe you are suffering form a love addition in which you feel your identity is in another person ( A weak “love addict” is emotionally dependent on someone considered strong.) “A savior addiction” in which you feel your identity is in your ability to meet the needs of another person ( A strong ” savior” needs to be needed by someone considered weak.) Because addictions can provided a momentary high, good feelings are usually associated with them.

Life is full of a myriad of possibilities for us to choose from and once we lose our way we can start to feel as if we are at the mercy of the wind blowing from one person to another, from one philosophy to another. You can even to start to feel like you are a trash can . . . I am here to tell you no matter what your addiction is or dependency is about you are not a trash can! 

What A Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practice To Deceive

Posted in Difficult Relationships, Hope, Love, Relationships, Self- Help by

Don't Let A Bad Day Make You Think You Have A Bad LifeAre you doing the right things but in a relationship with someone who isn’t?  Remember the saying, “What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”? Talk about stress and complexities! When we don’t live our lives according to our moral standard . . . when we make all of our decisions based on a sliding scale designed by someone else  . . . when we give them permission to lie or twist the truth  . . . our lives can get really complicated, really fast. When we allow ourselves to just go along with someone to get along we can start to become unglued faster than we ever thought. 

On, the other hand, when we live by a healthy moral code, things get so much simpler. Should I tell the cashier that the one cup cake pan sheet rang up is actually two stuck together? If you live by a moral code, there’s no stress for you in this situation because you know exactly what to do. Should I fudge on my income tax? If you live by a code of honor, the answers simple. Should I fantasize about someone who is off-limits? Have an affair? Lie to my husband about the credit card bill? Pass along a bit of juicy news even though it was told to me in confidence? These are no-brainers . . .  as long as you have a code to guide you.

If you want to see how complicated life can become when moral standards are compromised? Just watch the news or Judge Judy on any given day there are stories about people who used poor judgement just one time and caused themselves a whole heap of trouble and sometimes even end up in jail. Those men and women are reaping whirlwinds of complexity unusually because somewhere along the way, they got out of the habit of doing the right thing. You don’t want to be like them. Do you?

If you live by a moral code, does that mean your life will never feel stressed or complex? Of course not. But when you make the healthiest choices you can make, each and every day, no matter what traumas and stress comes into our lives at least you’ll have the comfort of knowing that you did you best. Maybe you’ll sleep better at night. Besides, as stressful as life gets, the chances are good that you’re going to want to avoid the added stress that comes with a lifetime of making REALLY bonehead decisions. They say you reap what you sow. So why not Sow wise choices and reap peace.

The good news is that with a little effort or a lot of effort depending on your circumstances you can strip away the residue, wash out unwanted build-up, experience less fatigues, and even put a new bounce in your step. Best yet, you’ll never have to explain to your husband or boyfriend why you are over your limit on credit cards. If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have the same moral code and they don’t want to develop one then you might consider ending the relationship. After all you’re not a trash can . . . are you?