Sometimes Words Get In The Way

Sometimes Words get in the way. Sometimes they don’t say enough. Sometimes they get stuck in the back of your throat. But just because your tongue is tied doesn’t mean you’re cut off from each other.

in-love

It’s great to say those magical three words,”I love you,” but there are many others ways to let your loved one know how you feel. You can say an awful lot with a look, a touch, a smile, a frown, a thoughtful gesture, a shrug, a favorite meal, a changed diaper, a silently paid bill, a remembered anniversary, or a romantic walk along the beach.

You can also communicate negative thoughts in silent ways, like forgetting her birthday, not calling to say you’ll be home late. Sometimes such thoughtlessness is only carelessness, even then there’s an unspoken message. So let your loved one know how you feel, what’s in your heart, and what’s on your mind . . . in words and in gestures.  And as you do be careful how you choose your words, and just as careful in the gestures you make. Just because nobody hears the tree falling in your forest of love, the effect of the thud will still be felt.

 

FAST FOOD

Renewing your mind means learning to recognize what comes from hell, and what comes from heaven. Think about this in order to be of any use to the Kingdom, our minds must be transformed. We find a clue to what that word means in the transfiguration of Jesus when he talked with Moses and Elijah. The reality of heaven radiated through Jesus, and He shone with incredible brilliance. His body revealed the reality of another world.

The word transformed in that passage is the same word we find in Romans 12:2. The renewed mind, then, reflects the reality of another world in the same way Jesus shone with heaven’s brilliance. It’s not just that our thoughts are different , but that our way of thinking is transformed because we think from a different reality . . . from heaven toward earth! That is the transformed perspective. The renewed mind enables co-laborers to prove the will of God. We prove the will of God when put on display the reality of heaven.

The unrenewed mind, on the other hand, brings about a completely different manifestation read Jeremiah 9:19. In Pastor, Dicks book How to Live and Keep from Dying he addresses the issues regarding what is of God and what is not and how to have a renewed mind that is transformed to prove the will of God.

dickbraswell

Word for Today:  July 29

There are two kinds of faith.

First, there is Natural Faith and secondly, there is Supernatural Faith.

Natural Faith is based on what we see (our senses) and Supernatural Faith is based on what God Says.  Thomas exercised natural faith.  He would not believe (have faith) unless he saw the evidence.  He heard that Jesus was alive, but he refused to believe it unless he actually saw Him.  This is natural faith.

Abraham, on the other hand, exercised supernatural faith.  Abraham determined to believe (have faith) regardless of what he saw or felt.  His “senses” were not consulted.  He chose to Believe God.

Most believers are living in the realm of natural faith.   They tend to believe only what they can see.  They are subject to their senses and are dependent on natural facts.  Natural faith operates only in the realm of the visible, the…

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Tie Up Your Emotional Loose Ends

Keep Your PromisesEveryone has a few emotional loose ends attached to something that their sweetheart has said or done.  Some are harmful while others fester like unexpressed resentments, unmanaged hurts, unresolved conflicts, unmentioned little embarrassments, or unfair requests that are hiding out in the background. Sadly, unsaid, they stand between sweethearts spoiling their emotional bond, clouding the clarity they’d like to have for one another.

Leaving them with emotional loose ends, instead of letting their conflicts, requests, and difficulties languish in the slough of non-expression, they bring them to a conclusion and make peace with one another before going on. Doing this implies that they both desire and believe they can bring their union into the place of emotional homeostasis, of calm, in which they can begin to take tender emotional risks and deepen their relationship.

We all have a tendency to let things go, to hope that whatever is amiss will just work itself out or disappear. Some things do become conveniently irrelevant in time, but the truth is that not resolving resentments and conflicts takes an incredible amount of energy. And all the energy could better be used for kissing each other or making plans to go on a date. So instead of building gallows for your love, take an extra time to resolve your unfinished emotional loose end, no matter how trite or inconsequential it may seem.

Remember ” You Are Not A Trash Can” and love blossoms under blue skies and trying up emotional loose ends shoos all the dark clouds away.

 

Wait . . . what? What is an Authentic Voice?

An authentic voice is when we are being 100 per cent ourselves, without fear or reservation. Think about the person you are when you are with your friends, spouse, or your children, and your family. Are you consistently the same or do you change according to who your audience is or how they respond? Have you discovered your authentic voice? Think of how you speak on the phone, the voice you use when you are typing an email, or the words you chose when telling a story at the dinner table. Have you ever tried journeying? Or maybe you’re a blogger who hasn’t found your voice yet.  If so try this little exercise. Think of a memory or story  now call your mom or best friend and tell them the story. 

You can start out by saying. “Hey, remember when.  . . ? Or, “Did I ever tell you the story about the time . . .? Once you finish the conversation, write it down in your journal or on your blog and as you are writing say it to yourself without any fear or reservation and when you are finished ask yourself if the voice in which you just told the story matches the voice in which the story is written. If they match great! You have just used your authentic voice. If they’re quite different, well, read on!Mr & Mrs.

There is no better place to start getting to the authentic heart of your story than with your own blog entries and the nice thing about using a blog is that you can write in a timely manner while topics are still fresh on your mind and the true emotion is there. Many bloggers use events as starting points for writing or journeying. Such as a wedding anniversary.

For example I read a story on a blog about a woman who wrote about the night her  husband proposed to her and how it took her fifteen years to feel brave enough to write him a love letter.  I applaud her for being brave and taking  an opportunity to write from her heart using her authentic voice. Her story  reminding all of us that we don’t always get do overs and second chances.  Some don’t get fifteen years with the love of their lives . So write from your heart and use your authentic voice  . . . and be real.

Your Truth May Not Be What It Once Was

Be RealTruth is a journey toward itself. To live in truth is to be aware that , as your context changes, so will your view of the truth and the range of the truth that your heart and soul can contain. Your truth may not be now what it was or what it will be in the future; but it is your duty to live and speak your truth of the moment and to be willing to change it, should some larger truth be revived.

In relationships, we begin with the small truth about what’s true in that moment for us and speak them, in love, to the person we love. We start by sharing our stories, our needs, our hopes, and our dreams, then move on, through the many and varied vicissitude of our ever unfolding personal selves, toward the truth that embraces us all. For the ultimate truth is immense ; it swallows up all other truths, our little individual truths, the contradictions we all are living, and even the bigger truths of paradox principles and rules.

Begin your journey toward truth. and search for the truth inside you that is longing to be expressed and when you find your truth speak it. See the truth as it stands in your midst, that is carried, embodied, and spoken to you by those you can trust and start living the higher truth as it revealed to you. Your truth can come to you through art, in music, in literature, in nature, and in your dreams. Receive that truth and allow it surround you , for  truth is everywhere. Surrender yourself to the truth, for to live your life in truth is to live in freedom.

There is nothing purer than the truth. It stands inviolate on its own merit, seeing through falsehood and equivocation, shining brilliant at the spiritual totem around which our whole lives are organized. The truth is indivisible , stunning, eternal, the Alpha and Omega of our mortal human existence. Nothing less than the truth can ever equal it: and nothing less than the truth can ever pass it and you certainly were not created to be used as anyone’s trash can so if you are feeling that way stop and sift through the lies you are believing about yourself because the truth will set you free indeed.

Be Willing To Be Surprised

Be Available To The Mystery Love of the heart and soul is mysterious. It takes chances. It believes in miracles. It is breath, movement, music, an evanescent moment, a blissful surprise. To be available to its mystery is to be willing to be surprised . .  . as a child discovers their face in a mirror, or a husband undressing his bride for the first time, and discovers the secrets of her. To be open to the miraculous is at last to be bountifully blessed. It is to move with grace, as you sweetly conduct your life, from the mountains of your mind to the rivers of your heart.

To be available to mystery means that you are open, expectant, waiting , continually poised on tiptoe prepared to be illumined .  .  . not locked down in your own expectations of how you think it should happen. In life and in love, this means living free, with your mind-set loose from its gears, not endlessly chattering inside, “But it has its own way,” or “”I thought is was going to be this way.” Our own ideas, those tidy little constructions of the intellect and psyche, just serve to limit our reality, shutdown possibilities, create a universe only as complex and rarified as the busy minds that invented it.

If you are too invested in the concepts of the mind, you will only recognize the things and allow into your life the kinds of experiences that confirm what your mind is already seen. When you set out to prove your presumptions, you scotch your chances of falling toward the miraculous. That’s because being  available to the mystery means being willing to believe that something more or different  . . . something you literally cannot imagine could be lying in wait for you. Indeed, when you surrender to mystery, you may step into an experience so huge and splendid and grand that, truly, you may feel as if you just stepped right out this world.

Remember you are not a trash can and you deserve to be loved the right way . . . meaning by someone who doesn’t disrespect you in any way. Whenever a negative situation occurs in your life, you have choices about how you think about them, which will determine how you respond. Please think highly enough of yourself to say no to anyone who disrespects you and if you feel that you can’t please seek professional help.

 

Enjoy Your Imagination

Your relationship is a precious jewel treasure it, hold in your hand and up to the light and keep your heart open to it.

You Are Not A Trash Can

It's better

It’s easy to get in a rut and it’s the exceptional that makes love feel like love, and not just a two-person of the  drab, dull, daily routine. That’s not to say that our daily routine isn’t good because everyone knows that after they experience an  unfortunate event that we really appreciate our seemly dull routines. Everyone, (well almost everybody) likes a surprise, the uninvited appearance of the utterly unexpected, the rabbit comes out of the hat, the hidden treasure, the silver lining. The unanticipated leaves us happily off-kilter, so spice up your life by doing something completely different. 

Throw gardenia petal on the bed, put a love note in the freezer, read to each other a bedtime story, bury tickets to the circus under his pillow, follow your sweetheart around with a camera and make a photo essay of them. Leave an erotic message on his cell phone, call her work just to tell her…

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Enjoy Your Imagination

It's better

It’s easy to get in a rut and it’s the exceptional that makes love feel like love, and not just a two-person of the  drab, dull, daily routine. That’s not to say that our daily routine isn’t good because everyone knows that after they experience an  unfortunate event that we really appreciate our seemly dull routines. Everyone, (well almost everybody) likes a surprise, the uninvited appearance of the utterly unexpected, the rabbit comes out of the hat, the hidden treasure, the silver lining. The unanticipated leaves us happily off-kilter, so spice up your life by doing something completely different. 

Throw gardenia petal on the bed, put a love note in the freezer, read to each other a bedtime story, bury tickets to the circus under his pillow, follow your sweetheart around with a camera and make a photo essay of them. Leave an erotic message on his cell phone, call her work just to tell her that you love her, sever a candlelight dinner in bed and lastly don’t forget to take the kids to Nana’s house for the night or weekend. Just remember it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you do something unexpected and as often as you can and watch your love turn from dishwater dull to the sparkle of champagne.

Your relationship is priceless.

Not everyone had been given such a gift.

Treasure it, hold it in your hand and up to the light.

Image yourself letting its extraordinary beauty open your heart

And transform you life

Don’t ever forget that you are not a trash can

You are priceless . . .

You Can Only Be You

I am womanLet’s be honest we all crave to be accepted and welcomed, sometimes we even compare our gifts to others’, attempting to measure if we belong ; but that’s like trying to reshape your fingerprint to match someone else’s . . . impossible.

If you try to adopt someone else’s roadmap as your own , you will limit where your gift can take you. You can only be you. Who you are at the core will leak out, no matter how much you suppress it. In God’s truth, the true you is meant to reach beyond you, but you can’t grow into the person God created you to be if you live in doubt and unrest. If you constantly undermine your gift by trying to copy other people.

In order to sustain a consistent outlook and pattern, your thoughts, your words, your spirit and your actions must line up. That means that you can begin today saying good  things about yourself that your brain doesn’t “believe” on a cellular level until it becomes a part of you on a cellular level.

Neurologically, you are not wired for someone else’s gift. You can try as hard as you want. You can listen to as many teaching as you possibly can. You can buy all the books with an instant formula for  a business mogul’s  success. You can adopt all the poplar motivational sayings. But even then, you will never have someone else’s gift. You can only be you and you’re not a trash can.

Pay Attention To What You Are Saying

HelloA relationship isn’t something like grandma’s silver that you take out of its box once a year to polish. It’s something that needs constant spiffying up. Okay, given your busy lives, constant is an exaggeration. But how about giving your relationship a shining for fifteen or twenty minutes once a week? That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? And what do you use for polish?  Really mean it when you say I love you. Make sure your words and your actions are in sync. Talk to each other. Keep it simple . . . don’t try to analyze everything. Be sure you’re saying what you really mean. 

It’s great to reach for the stars . . . just don’t be disappointed if you only get as far as the moon. Don’t take your partner’s foibles personally. Romance is more important than you may think. Play your song. Two hearts beat stronger by candlelight. Turn off the TV . . .  turn on love. Look your sweetheart in the eyes. Make coming home something to look forward to. Dare to do things differently. Schedule a date for just the two of you. find activities to do together. Remember the goal isn’t to find the right answer, but merely to treat each other with love and respect . . .   not a trash can. You’ve been taught to say “thank you” for presents, but do you acknowledge the little things your sweetheart does for you? You can never say “thank you” too many times, though most people don’t say it enough.  

 

No One’s Perfect

Lessions Learned Sometimes we seem to be operating on the principle that everybody else was born perfect, and it’s only a cruel quirk of fate that, unlike everyone else(all of whom are still perfect), we’ve got some ugly knots to untie. Not so.What is true is that within the basic perfection of the gift of life, we’re all given certain difficulties, limitations, and problems as a kind of meditative theme to unravel throughout our lives.  

What ever we must heal, immobilizing fear, explosive rages, abandonment in one or hundred forms is grist for transformation, opportunity for enlightenment. Each time we encounter one of these devastating limitations , we are invited to move through it and experience victory over our fears. On your journey , for example, you may be asked to expand your emotional repertoire from rage to forgiveness, from forgiveness to compassion, and from compassion to indivisible love. Because love is our ultimate destination, this journey of healing is your life’s true work. It doesn’t matter whether you undertake it with extra help  or go it alone . . . what matters is that you start the journey of healing. 

If you don’t, you will live washed in self-pity, endlessly tossed by your feelings, your unfinished emotional business. But if you do, you’ll see that what started out as your painful limitations become in the end your most radiant assets; and your soul, released at last from its endless emotional involvements, will emerge as the shining light.

Don’t Drift To Far Away From Your Sweetheart

Lunch On The BeachAs you go through life, there are danger signs everywhere: red lights and stop signs, speed bumps and blinking lights, and circles. But when it comes to a relationship, visible warning signs are few and far between. Sometimes the greatest perils come tiptoeing in sight unseen, and one the most lethal of these sneaky assassins of arbor is boredom.

Before it drains the power out of your love, sweep that gray fog of boredom aside by adding energy. In the same way the warm rays of the sun dissipate a real fog, energy can pierce the grayness of your love. All you have to is: talk, run, jump, ski, walk, go. It doesn’t matter where or how. All that matters is the you do something. The more you do, the further away you’ll push boredom, and the stronger you love will be.

Beware too, that sometimes boredom wears a disguise. It’s call routine. Routines are necessary in life, especially when there’s so much to do., but they have a serous side effect, which is boredom. The key to using routines wisely is to break from them regularly. If you always eat dinner at six , then one night a week, eat at five or go to dinner and a movie. Every once in a while, use your fingers instead of a fork.

If that thought creeps into your head to throw a grape at your sweetheart, then do it! If you pass your hubby washing his hands at the sink, put an ice-cube down his shirt. Sleep on the other side of the bed once in a while. Slip a homeless person a $10 bill. Wear something unexpected to bed. Drive home the long way. It doesn’t matter what it is that you do that’s different . It only matters that you do different things regularly.

Do You Ever Get Angry With Yourself?

Busy WomenHave you ever gotten angry at yourself because you forgot to put your cell phone in your purse? Or you made a scratch with your key on  your car door, and thought, “How could I be so careless?”

If you get angry with yourself or if someone at work makes you angry or another driver ticks you off, that anger may end up being directed at the person you love. Even if the tirade of fiery words is not directed at anyone in particular, it will make those nearby uncomfortable. If that happens, an apology is in order.

As quickly as that apology is spoken, its acceptance should follow. This isn’t a fight where defenses need go up. This is a case of collateral damage. since the intent to harm wasn’t there and the harm was negligible, it needs to be put aside as quickly as possible. If you have a short fuse, then be very careful that your anger is directed at the proper party. If a driver cuts you off, don’t just curse, but let those in the car know whom you are cursing at . At least that way they’ll know that you’re not angry at them. You might even want to give up cursing while you’re at it. 

Sometimes anger can be held in. Other times it can’t  be held back. Like a volcano, the hot lava of angry words just spews out. Like a shotgun blast, it might hit its target but also everything else nearby., including people you love and whom you don’t want to feel its heat. Remember the ones you love are not trash cans go get a grip on your anger issues.

Do You Really Need to Fire Your Verbal Machine Gun?

Be RealBefore you fire your verbal machine gun it’s important to investigate the maturity of your emotional output. Just because you feel like saying something doesn’t mean it has to be said in the way or at exactly the moment you feel like saying it. Remember, your relationship is a precious thing that deserves to be preserved. Look for a more appropriate time and way to express your feelings so that your relationship will be enhanced rather than eroded or destroyed.

When you fight leave the kitchen sink in the kitchen. What I mean by this is don’t just throw things into the argument that don’t have anything to do with the issues at hand. Why bring up something that happened ten months ago that just adds confusion and  is not the right way to treat someone or anyone.

So no matter what you’re so furious about, try to resist the temptation to let it all hang out or to let the devil take the hindmost. It’s important to stop and think before you let the other person have it. Ask yourself two questions.

Do I really need to say this? That is, does this horrible, angry, vituperative, or character-blasting thing really need to be said? Will it improve the immediate situation? Is there anything useful to be gained by saying mean words? For example, saying to your sweetheart that you not only think your sex life is awful now, but it has been for the past five years? Will this or similar remarks speed up the person’s evolution, or your own, or is saying it just the indulgence of revved up emotions that want to released?

Ask yourself this question. Do I really need to say this now? The diatribe you want to indulge in may include some very valuable points that really do need to be expressed. But is this the time to make them? Will you set off a furor or engender a useful response? Remember you are not a trash can and if you are in a relationship with someone who says horrible, angry, vituperative character blasting things at you or about you . You might consider getting counseling to find out why you are allowing someone to treat that way because God didn’t create you to be treated badly by anyone.

 

Timing In Relationships Is Everything

Celebrate The Sweet Life

A Vintage EngaementTiming in relationships is a funny thing and yet it  is the mystical part  of any relationship that refers to when things happen. It’s the perfect moment , the magical conjunction of events, the folding of together of one person’s movement through time with another’s in perfect harmony.

Relationships  themselves, and every event, behavior, and action within them, have their own image and perfect timing. Just as the ideal mate often shows up only when you’ve completely given up on ever falling in love again, so it is that within the sacred walls of a relationship there are perfect moments for everything, a choreography of timing that can either support or detract from the grace of your relationship.

Sensitivity about timing adds grace to any union. If, together, you don’t cultivate this sensitivity, you’ll be continually jamming up against the differences in your time frames, saying the emotionally loaded thing…

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Love Calls For Compromise

Celebrate The Sweet Life

Dress For Your SweetheartSome yeses have to become no. Some noes have to turn to yes. Some pleasures have to be foregone. some have to be accepted. Some nights have to wait till morning. Some morning have to imitate the night. 

Some spontaneity has to become scheduled.Some schedules have to be put off. Some headaches have to be respected. Some aspirin has to be taken. All love is warm. some love is hot. Two partner scorching with fever can melt into each other without getting burned. But each of us has differing amounts of fuel. One person’s may flare up more often than his or her sweethearts or with greater intensity.

These inequalities have nothing to do with the quality of a person’s love. They’re the same, but they’re different, which is a dilemma that has no answer, except that the answer is love. Love calls for compromise.

If two people can’t balance on the seesaw, then one has to move closer…

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Every Relationship Has A Higher Calling

Celebrate The Sweet Life

Trash the dress photoWhether it is clearly visible or not , every relationship has a higher purpose than itself alone; a meaning that goes beyond the conventions of love and romance, and attaches the two people in it to a destiny that has roots in the past and wings in the future.

The purpose is to shape us individually into the highest and best versions of ourselves and to change, if only in some tiny way, the essential character of the reality we have entered her by being born. To know this is to believe that whatever occurs between you, the petty dramas and traumas, the life shaping tragedies is honing you for your unique participation in the human stream. It is to accept the person you love has come into your life for a reason that goes beyond the sanctification of the moment or even your personal future to reach into the web of time beyond time. 

What you do here together, how…

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Acknowledge The Little Things

I Heart YouYou’ve been taught to say “thank you” for presents, but do you acknowledge the little presents your sweetheart gives you every day? You can never say thank you enough or be thanked enough. Grand gestures are fun and they can make your heart soar. But if they only happen once or twice a year what’s the fun in that? Little gestures are not as splashy and they might even go unnoticed. Sometimes it seems like if it wasn’t for the raindrops the oceans would soon be empty and doing small acts of kindness for the one you love or receiving kindness from them can be like raindrops that keep your reservoir of love flowing.

When people lose their sweetheart whom they’ve loved dearly, it’s not the grand gestures that they miss. It’s the little things. It’s the nightly kiss goodnight. It’s the vase with just one flower in it that they gave you just because, its hold hands at the movies. It’s the hugs and that sparkly in their eyes that says  I’m glad you’re here. The little things are like the nails that hold a house together . You don’t see them, but they’re doing their work. And like nails, the little things don’t insert themselves without some help. Each one may not take a lot of energy, but if you put just enough energy into the little things, over time you’ll build a great big love.

Everybody wants to hear how much, and precisely why, he or she is loved. Even when they’ve been chosen, even when they’ve tied the knot, they still need the verbal reassurance that they are loved. Everyone needs to be endured, to feel that they are special, delightful, delicious, precious, irreplaceable, to the one they love. They want to be singled out, to be told we are loved above all by the person who has chosen us. You shouldn’t settle for less. Make no mistake having feelings about someone isn’t as good as sharing those feelings with them. Make no mistake words mean a lot to all of us. We all walk around with a huge collection of insecurities, and none of us is so sure, so cut and dry in our conviction about our own self-worth that we don’t need the inspiration of being told every which way, over and over again, exactly why, how and how much we are loved. We need to be told, and the words need to be heart-felt. You’re not a trash can and you were created to be loved in all the right ways not in ways that cause you pain.

 

You Deserve To Bathe In Loves Glow

love (2)Love is complex all by itself and it’s not an emotion that can readily be understood. You can’t take it apart to analyze it and it doesn’t become any clearer when seen through a microscope.  Many men enjoy complexity and life is like a giant puzzle they’re itching to solve, and the more pieces, the better. That’s fine if they are building something in their workshops, tinkering with their cars, or driving to some unknown destination, but is doesn’t always work so well when assembling love.

Just because love exists doesn’t mean that it can be understood. So accept love’s simplicity and appreciate it without an examination. Accept it as it is. Accept each other and your singular. Think of it this way love is like a coat of many colors. You put it on and bathe in its glow. You don’t have to understand anything. You don’t have to see how the pieces fit they just do for the two of you. Remember you’re not a car to just be tinkered with or driven to some unknown destination . . .  you deserve to experience the simplicity of love and bathe in loves glow.

love Is A Mystery

Last KissLove is a mystery, the essence of it is almost angelic. It’s very nature goes beyond what we can understand by any of the systems through which we usually comprehend reality. It both binds and frees us. It opens our hearts and breaks our hearts. It can  neither be seen, except in the eyes of the beloved, nor felt, except in the heart of the one who is cherished.

In visible, its absence leaves us gray hearted, wounded in spirit, while its presence transforms our hearts, our psyches, and our lives. Many seek love without knowing what it is, knowing they will know when they find it. This is the true mystery of love, that no matter how much we are unable to describe it, we always recognize it when we experience it. Sometimes love comes to stay, nourished and coddled by the feelings and efforts of those who have invited it in. Love infuses itself into relationships by means that are beyond our invention or imagining . 

But if it is not honored and nourished, love will leave. In bowing to the mystery of love we acknowledge that love is beyond our comprehension, that we will never fully understand it. The love we seek, seeks us, embraces us without our knowing, and binds our spirits into itself. There is a point at which in the presence of love there is nothing more to say or prove, nothing left to ask for or regret , nothing left except the miracle of love itself. Having a relationship is about loving and being loved, feeling preciously and deliciously connected to your sweetheart. You’re not a trash can so why settle for anything less than being deliciously connected to your sweetheart?